The first day of school

Well it has finally come upon our house - the first day of school.  I have dreaded this day since the last day of school.  While I am 100% confident in her ability to learn, play with others and be excited about things, I was not 100% confident about my ability to let go of the amazing situation we had last year.  Last year for three-year school she was instructed by four adorable, loving and caring high school seniors.  Annmarie formed an instant bond with these young women and loved every single moment of school.  Don't get me wrong, will she love Mrs. G and the aides - yes but, the undivided attention she received last year will not be the same.  I know it's a good thing to encourage more independent learning, but when you're a working parent like myself, perhaps I liked (too much) the caring hands of her four young teachers.  Maybe I even allowed them to be in my shoes a bit too much.

So today began very early with a sleepless night - did we make the right decision (yes), will she like it (yes), will she learn and grow intelluctually, spiritually, physically (yes, yes and yes), are we doing our best as parents (yes) and the list goes on and on.  As she woke this morning, I had carefully placed her favorite dishes and favorite breakfast on the table, placed a new dress, shoes and bow on the couch - all things are in their place. And then I realized one thing was missing - my excitement.  I should not worry, or feel angst, or pressure, or sadness, she is growing up and this is a good thing.  I am a raising a smart, independent, wise, caring, loving, playful young lady.  And last years teachers and this years teachers and teachers in the future, close to her, or not, are all playing a role in that too.  So while Annmarie marches off to school, I feel compelled to take a a tour around the school of life - a refresher course if you will.  It's nice to be reminded that learning and instruction and love happens all of the time - inside and outside of the classroom.

Chicken wings and juice boxes

Last night we had a very casual BBQ with the parents of a little girl Annmarie has befriended.  Annmarie and A have been in dance and gymnastics together since last fall. I literally see this Mom one or two times a week and spend an hour plus chatting, she is a good friend.  Last night, A, her parents and brother came over to swim and have dinner and drinks.  Something struck me last night - we are darn lucky people.  We have an incredibly good life, a lovely home, spacious yard, food to eat - but most important - smiles to be shared and no judgement.  Last night during dinner, drinks and playtime I really felt that no one in our yard was casting any judgement.  I really think people judge all of the time...yes all of the time.  Failing to judge is a major success.  I have never felt so comfortable in my own space, physical and otherwise.

Will you just lay with me?

This has been a crazy week - and this weekend is penned to be a little crazier.  Frankly, next week is shaping up to be nuts too.  I digress.  Annmarie is a pretty good napper, and this week she has been at VBS from 9-2, missing her afternoon nap.  Thankfully, he amazing sitter has been able to squeeze in some late afternoon nap time on most days, but boy is that kid a mess come 5pm.  WOW.  She is exhausted.  You may wonder why this matters?  After falling asleep 4 nights this week on the 6 block ride home from Debbie's we carry her in to the guest bedroom/playroom for a little pre dinner nap.  This has prompted (1) eating dinner in bed and (2) pleas for a companion sleeper/rest (hence, will you just lay with me).  Now any good parent would relish in these cuddles, and I do...but I also JUST walked in the door, shoes on, work clothes on, thirsty, you get the picture.  I guess this is where one of those silly parental sacrifices occurs - no Diet Coke and yoga pants till I chillax with Rie a bit.

I see why she likes this little place, this nuzzley, warm, yet cool, bed, My Little Pony on tv - this is pretty awesome...and I plan to do more of it.  She's growing up to fast and will soon hate me and I could use a reason to slow down and smell the colorific roses.

It's 5:50 in the morning...

And another busy day is upon us.  Annmarie started Vacation Bible School; ended day camp; is moving up tonight in gymnastics; has a pool party Friday night; a playdate Saturday...shall I go on.  While I have always felt like a parent, I feel now that we have entered parent-hood.  What's the difference?  We are never home!  Some one is shuffling from one 'hood to the next as we load of social, physical, spiritual and emotional calendars with activities and experiences that we deeply believe benefit our child.  Could this benefit be working mother overcompensation?  Absolutely!  Could it be that Annmarie loves to be busy much like her Mom?  Absolutely!  Either way, I am most excited about her attending VBS.  This is really the first activity Annmarie has done with our neighborhood school, St Germaine.  And while she will not attend school there (yet), she is making relationships with neighborhood kids and this is a bit new for us.  As the next year unfolds, her relationships with others will develop independently of John and I - this includes her relationship with God.  Whether or not you're of the same belief system of me or not, I could not be prouder when she mumbles little prayers on her own and of her free will.  And really, at 5:50 in the morning, whose not saying a little prayer? 

If faith is something that interests you, I encourage you to read John's Uncle's blog - it's really fantastic, and if faith is not your area of comfort, read it anyway, it's that good.

Pulling Jokes on Me? You? Us?

Not terribly long ago, I walked in to my daughter's room to wake her for the day.  It was cloudy, and early, and still a bit dark.  She woke and started screaming "stop joking on me, it's still nighttime!" (insert shrills).  I was not joking of course, and damn was she crabby.  But this leads me to think about all the times I have thought she was so little, small, immature, growing, learning - who is playing a joke on me? 

How does someone so small become so intuitive?  So in touch with what is not right?  How does this happen?  How does a four year old ask questions like "remember when we went to x place and I ate y?" and she really remembers.  What response do you give when John and I have a a "s.p.e.l.l.i.n.g" discussion about "b.e.d.t.i.m.e" and she says "stop talking like that, I know it's about me!"

Kids are too smart these days.  I am not sure I'll ever be able to outsmart this one.

I'll miss her how and when I want to

This past weekend my husband and daughter went away on a trip with the Blackhawk Princesses to Key Lime Cove.  Over the course of my week I made mention of this trip and how I had a bit of anxiety about missing her.  Someone said "but you travel for business, you must be used to it."  Um really?  You never get used to missing your child and yes, I do travel for business but that does not mean it is ever easy for her to be away.  Frankly, when I travel for work, it's not really a choice, this trip I could have attended, but it was important for them to do this together.

This begs the question, what gives people the right to dictate, how, when, where, and why I could miss my child?

Oh right, there is no right to this...for anyone other than me.

Being Four

Being four is a really, really big deal.  At least it is in our house.  Today, my daughter turns four.  One more year to go before she is a “whole hand.” But nevertheless four is awesome.

At the age of four my daughter can do many, many things – speak in full sentences, put on her own clothes, express her opinion (often), understand right from wrong and the list goes on and on.  But most important of all, at the age of four, you start to establish memories that will last a life time.

I want her to remember how much fun I am, the joys of baking with me, the messes I allow and encourage her to make with crafts and play-dog, her first friends in school and day care (Zoey, Elizabeth, Lauren, Brigid and Nora), he special bond and wild times with her cousins (Drew, Joey and Nick), the way her room is decorated, the joys of splashing in the pool, the excitement of riding a Dora the Explorer bike and so on.  But more than anything, I want that joy to last forever.

And this I promise on this ever-so-special day – I will manifest her joy, supplement her humor, encourage her silliness and preserve her childhood as every parent should. She has made me the best mother I can be and I will make her the best and most joyful person you could ever imagine. 

To many more years – my sweet Rie.

Ups and Downs

Anyone who has known me for a long time knows that I have struggled with my weight.  I was consistently average through high school and even most of college.  My senior year of college through the age of 25 I was very much a "plus."  At 25 I decided to change my life and enrolled in Weight Watchers  and after about 3 years I had lost around 90 pounds.  And then, I got married and pregnant and welcomed a large portion of that weight back.  Since January I have recommitted to Weight Watchers and have lost every week since.  It's not a ton of weight, but it's slow and steady progress.


I have never felt bad about myself, plus sized or not - I made the choice each and every time to put food in my mouth. Right or wrong, I made the choice. The choices I made have led to tighter pants and plus sized shirts, but those choices were all mine.  When it comes to weight loss, it's not about the scale it's about accepting your responsibility for the choice you have made in life...and then dealing with it.


You see ups and downs on the scale are just like every up and down in life - you chose them.  Conscious or not, the things that happen to you (positive or negative) are all part of who you are.  The path you take makes you - YOU. 

My love/hate relationship with March 10th

March 10th is an important day in our family. 

• March 10, 1973 - Mom and Dad were married
• March 10, 1947 - my father in law was born
• March 10, 2008 - my friend's son was born
• March 10, 194x - our family friend was born
• March 10, 2005 - my Grandma passed away

Sad but true, the only one of these dates I have been able to focus on for years now, is the passing of my Grandma.  She was the best.  No, really, she was.  My Grandma was AWESOME.  For as long as I will live, no other place will show the best of me, like the glimmer in Gram's eyes when I did something well, or not.  To her, I was perfect, and to me, she was too.

My Grandma had a great life, while filled with the normal ups and downs of raising a large family, she brought joy to many people.  Having spent many years raising a family, my Gram spent her latter years waiting tables at a local restaurant. Nightly she served dinner to some of the south-side's notable characters, always leaving at the end of the night knowing how much she made in tips, who drank which cocktail and what the weather was on that day.  She could tell you who had a Manhattan on March 10, 1987 and whether it rained or snowed on the turn of a dime. 

Quirkiness aside, my Gram had a liking, well really, a love and passion for shopping, most notably purses and jewelry.  Not a day goes by that I do not think of her as  I wear a pair of earrings, or slip on a bracelet or grab money from my handbag.  No other woman in my life influenced my choices of accessories like she did.

As years have passed and times have changed, I know I am not perfect, and I have learned that she was not either.  But that does not really matter, she was the greatest Grandma around, hands down.  She was protective to a fault, fiercely loving and kind - I miss her all of the time. And it is hard knowing that my daughter never had the chance to meet her, but I know one thing for sure, A's love for glitter and glam comes with divine inspiration.  Thanks Gram!

 My Grandma (seated in red) with many of my cousins at her 70th birthday party

Fairy light = danger

I had a little post planned all in my head and as I sat down to write this A comes down the stairs holding a little Tinkerbell light.  The light was previously on her super heavy, very tall, antique dresser.  When I asked how this ended up in her hands she said "duh, I stacked all the pillows up and grabbed it."  Now I should be mad - (1) she is out of bed (2) she did something dangerous and (3) because I am the Mommy and I can do that but really, I am proud.  Why?  (1) she was crafty enough to figure out a way to do it and (2) she did not lie. 

Hence, today's parenting dilemma - be mad because she did something foolish or be proud that she was honest and forthcoming?  I am erring on the side of proud.  Kids, even my little four year old, are living in a world with tremendous pressure.  It starts before day one - be born on time, grow quick, eat well, sleep right, don't wake the neighbors, speak at an early age (and in multiple languages) and the list goes on.  So shoot, who cares.  She broke a rule, it was small - but she was honest.  High fives to my honest, adorable and forthcoming child.

Mommyclopedia

A conversation in our house that occurs often is "why are you always so tired and crabby?"  I know I am not alone in this conversation.  There are millions of mothers out there that are simply exhausted.  The reason behind the exhaustion (with a side effect of crabbiness) is mommyclopedia.  Mommyclopedia is the condition of having to know everything - appointments, shoe sizes, birth weight, last time fed, favorite snack on a Wednesday (dramatically different than Thursday), favorite color, correct approach for going to the doctor, magic words of the day, size of pants next August and so on and so and so on. 

I'm not going to lie, my husband knows, nor would be able to answer 99% of the items mentioned about.  That does not make him a bad father just like knowing these things does not make me a good mother, but knowing all of these things can be overwhelming at times. 

There's no magic cure for mommyclopedia, my Mom can still recite many of these things about my sister and I.  I guess the good side of the condition means my mind will always be fresh, crabby or not.

Pushing the limits

Part of being a parent is enjoying and accepting the frustration of the moments (or hours or days) when your child learns to push your limits.  Most recently A has been flexing her independence when it comes to eating and dressing.  To be honest, the dressing part is causing me much more stress (more on this).


My husband and I decided many moons ago to never force A to eat.  The dinner is made, it's her choice to eat it and if she does not, that's fine, but there will be no snacks later.  This little agreement has worked well, with two exceptions - poop and trickery.  Trickery first - we have tricked A in to thinking that certain things will happen if you eat your dinner - example, "your nails will grow pretty if you eat your chicken," and now, the kid won't let me cut her nails.  Poop on the other hand is a much bigger issue.  We have suffered as a family for nearly 4 years with poop - too much, too little, too hard, too soft, not often, you name it we have dealt with it.  Magically, these cute little ice cream cones have encouraged and been a sound reward for poop.  So now what happens? The kid won't eat her dinner but she sure as hell will take a crap. [ Editorial comment : It's my blog, so I reserve the right to talk about poop] Now instead of poop ruling our life, it's freaking mini ice cream cones.  We are now employing trickery in to the poop : ice cream scenario - the store just does not make them any more.  (note: stay tuned to workingmotherofone.com's update on severe constipation as a result of said trickery in 5 days...I am sure).


Parenting is all about tricks, white lies and bribery, anyone who denies this has never met (1) my child or (2) experienced the 2's and 3's.  As I mentioned, her new independence has led to issues about getting dressed.  She likes ONE outfit - it's too small, too warm and worn too often.  When said "comfy hearts" outfit is unavailable - all bloody hell breaks loose at the house.  So how do I deal with this - lip gloss and glitter.  That's right, when all else fails, let your kid accessorize like a stripper.  My morning routine is now - I chose her outfit, she cries, I console, we get dressed, we cry and she goes glam.  My whole issue with clothes, (insert obsessive compulsive Mommy here) is dress her in comfortable casual wear most of the time, but to dress appropriate for school (aka dress pants, skirts and dresses).  We are always complimented on how tidy she looks and how well and appropriate she is dressed.  I have a year and half left and then it's uniform-city for this kid...can't a girl catch a break.  So in the end, I win and she looks like a stripper, or a princess...you decide.

It's not magic

I really thought I could do it all, before I was a Mom.  My house was clean (by me), I cooked nightly, I sent birthday and anniversary cards to every person we know on time, I baked, I worked, I did it all. At one point in time I told myself I would bake bread and make cookies every weekend so that we never had to buy store items - my child and family would be the envy of the block.  This is totally possible, right?  You've all seen TV - there are always baked goods in a glass dome on each sparkling countertop...this could be ME!

I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but heck, maybe a little.  I consider myself a pretty organized person.  Not in the paper work sense, but in the "hey we get a lot of things done around here" sense.  I, my family and I, have a pretty busy life.  My husband and I both work outside the home, A's in preschool, dance and cooking classes, I teach two classes for two different schools at night/online and we have a large extended family with something always on the calendar.  Knowing all this, I will often get the question (often from my single or married friends without kids) - "how do you do it all?"  It's simple, really. 

I accept that I can do most.  I can do most things, not all things.  I can prepare treats for school, make lunches, send cards, check in on a student, fold loads of laundry and toss in the next load - all before 6am.  Yes, that's right, the only way I get most things done is to wake up at the crack of dawn and just start working.  I'm not at all touting that this method is a good one, but things have to get done. You have to make the most of your days.  Our day, my day starts M-F at 5am.  I get out of bed, wash my face and wet my hair (showering at night saves me on time), get ready for work and hit the kitchen by 5:30.  At 5:30 I whip together breakfast and lunch and head to my home office and work on my classes and other things till 6am.  At 6, I wake up A, get her ready for school and we are out the door, I kid you not at 6:20am.  Mind you at this point, I have likely screamed at someone once, dropped a curse word and started to sweat with frustration.  Yes this is all a far cry from my dreams of baked goods cooling on my countertops.

We work all day, rush to the train, head to the sitters by 5, whisk in the door at 5:10 and start dinner.  On most nights by 6:15 A is in the tub and I am catching my breath.  It's a whirlwind I tell you.  Once A hits bed, I work on a class or two, write out some cards, fold some laundry, wipe down a bathroom, or do whatever needs to be done.  The trick really is to stay on top of things.  If I miss a beat, the deck of cards tumbles.  Train delays make me cry, a failed dinner sends me in to a panic, and sickness cripples me. 

I am an over programmed overachiever with a menu of dinners scheduled 30 days in advance, volunteer time is scheduled on my google calendar and every stinking thing we do is based around the attempt to live a Stepford-like life.  I know we'll never get there, and that's okay...but damn it, I am going to try.

While this may seem to some as chaotic or crazy, or a foolish waste of my time.  Believe it or not, I am a good friend, a good wife, a good employee, a contributing member of society because I like it this way.  I love the schedule, the structure, the breakdowns and all.   I don't rest well, believe me, if I am slowing down, it is only because I am preparing for the next marathon of life.

Patience is indeed a virtue

...that I do not possess.  I suck at being patient.  I suck at being a patient wife, customer, employee, employer - you name it, I suck at it.  I don't really know why this is, and really, I don't care...except when it comes to being an impatient parent.

Outside of the random moments when we all lose it - I am a terribly impatient mother.  Example, I make and serve dinner to my family, we eat together at the dinner table (side note: as all families should).  My daughter takes 100,000 times longer to eat than any other human on the planet. On most nights it starts off well, we all dine together, chatting, singing little songs, talking about the food and then time is up.  I am done, John is done and A...is still nibbling...and nibbling and so on.  This causes quite a dilemma for my over-scheduled brain.  Sit and stare or get up and start cleaning up the stove?

I have realized that in a few short years, she will rush through dinner, text message a friend and slam her bedroom door.  Savour these nibbling moments, I tell myself, soon you'll beg for them.

Sometimes Life Does Suck

Over the past few months close friends and not-so-close friends and others have dealt with a variety of tragic and challenging circumstances.  I won't share details past that, but man, it does make you say "life does suck sometimes." Sad but true, sometimes the challenges of others make us grateful for the small things that make our lives so very simple. 


The strength of others, and of ourselves is something that few of us recognize.  On this Valentine's Day, I am proud to say that I love my life and everyone in it - large or small, significant or not, near or far, simple or complex - I love it all.

Welcome to social media hoarding

Several years ago I took the time to blog and participate in the livejournal community.  I found it extremely rewarding but then I'll be honest, Facebook took over my life.  I love it,  I really, really love it.  It's on  my computer at home, on my laptop, at work, on my phone and now I can even stream Facebook to my TV.  This is NUTS.

All that said, I love keeping up with people, their happenings (good and bad) and seeing pictures of peoples' lives.  Granted, FB has it' has share of drama, but whatever.

Speaking of TVs - yesterday John purchased a 45 inch, LED, HDTV for our family room.  Say good bye to the 55 inch beast that ate up half of our family room for the last 10 years.  John has wanted this TV for a long time, every time he turned the TV on you could tell he was saying a "please be dead," prayer.  On a whim (and at the granting of a little contract gig) I set him loose with a budget for a new TV.  It made me wonder, how do other couples manage cash, gifts, large purchases and such.  John and I have a $100 and over discussion, when it comes to things outside of household goods.  It sounds small in this day and age, but when I need or want to buy things, I usually just say "I am in need of new jeans and such, I am planning to spend $X." And there it goes.  How do others handle this?  I know some couples that have $500 threshold and others that have a joint account and a (each) couples account.  Whatever works for you I say.

So in this day and age, I'm adding to my social media hoarding-like tendencies and hosting a blog.  I'm not sure what to talk about, I'm not sure how often I will say it, or even whom I will share it with.  But here it is. 

Maybe this blog is one and done, or not.