First let me just say that I am dreadfully embarrassed that it has been WELL over a year since my last post. Thankfully not much has changed - Annmarie is in school and doing great, we are both still employed and everyone is healthy.
But one thing has changed, for the better and and that' my faith. In an effort to not seem like a crazy Jesus freak, I have developed a much better, richer and comfortable relationship with God. Over the past 6 months my family and I have been attending a super-modern-progressive Christian Church called Parkview Christian Church . My entire life I have been Catholic, and when I mean "all my life," I am not just talking about the time since birth/Baptism, but "all my life" as in I had no idea or no willingness to understand faith in any other way.
But that's besides the point. The point is, that other than my deep anxiety and Catholic guilt over my choices, I am deeply and passionately thrilled with this church. The sermons and people there are welcoming. The pastor's have families, and lives and commitments - and understanding and patience. There are hundreds of volunteers who are committed to the growth of each and every member. And the biggest thing...no one dreads it. I know that sounds terrible, but face it, I am certain any other Catholic would agree, that at times Mass seems like a chore. But at Parkview, it is an experience and a pleasure. There's no up and down, no kneeling, no counting the time, no one staring at you when you do the wrong sign, say the wrong word, etc. I am in a comfortable and beautiful place.
And then there's the "hitch." Right, there's always a hitch. With every change, there comes anxiety. And my anxiety comes from feeling that I have abandoned years of education and sacrifice by my parents. And this I have not gotten over yet. But I will, I know it. Because I am happy and blessed.
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