A conversation in our house that occurs often is "why are you always so tired and crabby?" I know I am not alone in this conversation. There are millions of mothers out there that are simply exhausted. The reason behind the exhaustion (with a side effect of crabbiness) is mommyclopedia. Mommyclopedia is the condition of having to know everything - appointments, shoe sizes, birth weight, last time fed, favorite snack on a Wednesday (dramatically different than Thursday), favorite color, correct approach for going to the doctor, magic words of the day, size of pants next August and so on and so and so on.
I'm not going to lie, my husband knows, nor would be able to answer 99% of the items mentioned about. That does not make him a bad father just like knowing these things does not make me a good mother, but knowing all of these things can be overwhelming at times.
There's no magic cure for mommyclopedia, my Mom can still recite many of these things about my sister and I. I guess the good side of the condition means my mind will always be fresh, crabby or not.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Pushing the limits
Part of being a parent is enjoying and accepting the frustration of the moments (or hours or days) when your child learns to push your limits. Most recently A has been flexing her independence when it comes to eating and dressing. To be honest, the dressing part is causing me much more stress (more on this).
My husband and I decided many moons ago to never force A to eat. The dinner is made, it's her choice to eat it and if she does not, that's fine, but there will be no snacks later. This little agreement has worked well, with two exceptions - poop and trickery. Trickery first - we have tricked A in to thinking that certain things will happen if you eat your dinner - example, "your nails will grow pretty if you eat your chicken," and now, the kid won't let me cut her nails. Poop on the other hand is a much bigger issue. We have suffered as a family for nearly 4 years with poop - too much, too little, too hard, too soft, not often, you name it we have dealt with it. Magically, these cute little ice cream cones have encouraged and been a sound reward for poop. So now what happens? The kid won't eat her dinner but she sure as hell will take a crap. [ Editorial comment : It's my blog, so I reserve the right to talk about poop] Now instead of poop ruling our life, it's freaking mini ice cream cones. We are now employing trickery in to the poop : ice cream scenario - the store just does not make them any more. (note: stay tuned to workingmotherofone.com's update on severe constipation as a result of said trickery in 5 days...I am sure).
Parenting is all about tricks, white lies and bribery, anyone who denies this has never met (1) my child or (2) experienced the 2's and 3's. As I mentioned, her new independence has led to issues about getting dressed. She likes ONE outfit - it's too small, too warm and worn too often. When said "comfy hearts" outfit is unavailable - all bloody hell breaks loose at the house. So how do I deal with this - lip gloss and glitter. That's right, when all else fails, let your kid accessorize like a stripper. My morning routine is now - I chose her outfit, she cries, I console, we get dressed, we cry and she goes glam. My whole issue with clothes, (insert obsessive compulsive Mommy here) is dress her in comfortable casual wear most of the time, but to dress appropriate for school (aka dress pants, skirts and dresses). We are always complimented on how tidy she looks and how well and appropriate she is dressed. I have a year and half left and then it's uniform-city for this kid...can't a girl catch a break. So in the end, I win and she looks like a stripper, or a princess...you decide.
My husband and I decided many moons ago to never force A to eat. The dinner is made, it's her choice to eat it and if she does not, that's fine, but there will be no snacks later. This little agreement has worked well, with two exceptions - poop and trickery. Trickery first - we have tricked A in to thinking that certain things will happen if you eat your dinner - example, "your nails will grow pretty if you eat your chicken," and now, the kid won't let me cut her nails. Poop on the other hand is a much bigger issue. We have suffered as a family for nearly 4 years with poop - too much, too little, too hard, too soft, not often, you name it we have dealt with it. Magically, these cute little ice cream cones have encouraged and been a sound reward for poop. So now what happens? The kid won't eat her dinner but she sure as hell will take a crap. [ Editorial comment : It's my blog, so I reserve the right to talk about poop] Now instead of poop ruling our life, it's freaking mini ice cream cones. We are now employing trickery in to the poop : ice cream scenario - the store just does not make them any more. (note: stay tuned to workingmotherofone.com's update on severe constipation as a result of said trickery in 5 days...I am sure).
Parenting is all about tricks, white lies and bribery, anyone who denies this has never met (1) my child or (2) experienced the 2's and 3's. As I mentioned, her new independence has led to issues about getting dressed. She likes ONE outfit - it's too small, too warm and worn too often. When said "comfy hearts" outfit is unavailable - all bloody hell breaks loose at the house. So how do I deal with this - lip gloss and glitter. That's right, when all else fails, let your kid accessorize like a stripper. My morning routine is now - I chose her outfit, she cries, I console, we get dressed, we cry and she goes glam. My whole issue with clothes, (insert obsessive compulsive Mommy here) is dress her in comfortable casual wear most of the time, but to dress appropriate for school (aka dress pants, skirts and dresses). We are always complimented on how tidy she looks and how well and appropriate she is dressed. I have a year and half left and then it's uniform-city for this kid...can't a girl catch a break. So in the end, I win and she looks like a stripper, or a princess...you decide.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
It's not magic
I really thought I could do it all, before I was a Mom. My house was clean (by me), I cooked nightly, I sent birthday and anniversary cards to every person we know on time, I baked, I worked, I did it all. At one point in time I told myself I would bake bread and make cookies every weekend so that we never had to buy store items - my child and family would be the envy of the block. This is totally possible, right? You've all seen TV - there are always baked goods in a glass dome on each sparkling countertop...this could be ME!
I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but heck, maybe a little. I consider myself a pretty organized person. Not in the paper work sense, but in the "hey we get a lot of things done around here" sense. I, my family and I, have a pretty busy life. My husband and I both work outside the home, A's in preschool, dance and cooking classes, I teach two classes for two different schools at night/online and we have a large extended family with something always on the calendar. Knowing all this, I will often get the question (often from my single or married friends without kids) - "how do you do it all?" It's simple, really.
I accept that I can do most. I can do most things, not all things. I can prepare treats for school, make lunches, send cards, check in on a student, fold loads of laundry and toss in the next load - all before 6am. Yes, that's right, the only way I get most things done is to wake up at the crack of dawn and just start working. I'm not at all touting that this method is a good one, but things have to get done. You have to make the most of your days. Our day, my day starts M-F at 5am. I get out of bed, wash my face and wet my hair (showering at night saves me on time), get ready for work and hit the kitchen by 5:30. At 5:30 I whip together breakfast and lunch and head to my home office and work on my classes and other things till 6am. At 6, I wake up A, get her ready for school and we are out the door, I kid you not at 6:20am. Mind you at this point, I have likely screamed at someone once, dropped a curse word and started to sweat with frustration. Yes this is all a far cry from my dreams of baked goods cooling on my countertops.
We work all day, rush to the train, head to the sitters by 5, whisk in the door at 5:10 and start dinner. On most nights by 6:15 A is in the tub and I am catching my breath. It's a whirlwind I tell you. Once A hits bed, I work on a class or two, write out some cards, fold some laundry, wipe down a bathroom, or do whatever needs to be done. The trick really is to stay on top of things. If I miss a beat, the deck of cards tumbles. Train delays make me cry, a failed dinner sends me in to a panic, and sickness cripples me.
I am an over programmed overachiever with a menu of dinners scheduled 30 days in advance, volunteer time is scheduled on my google calendar and every stinking thing we do is based around the attempt to live a Stepford-like life. I know we'll never get there, and that's okay...but damn it, I am going to try.
While this may seem to some as chaotic or crazy, or a foolish waste of my time. Believe it or not, I am a good friend, a good wife, a good employee, a contributing member of society because I like it this way. I love the schedule, the structure, the breakdowns and all. I don't rest well, believe me, if I am slowing down, it is only because I am preparing for the next marathon of life.
I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but heck, maybe a little. I consider myself a pretty organized person. Not in the paper work sense, but in the "hey we get a lot of things done around here" sense. I, my family and I, have a pretty busy life. My husband and I both work outside the home, A's in preschool, dance and cooking classes, I teach two classes for two different schools at night/online and we have a large extended family with something always on the calendar. Knowing all this, I will often get the question (often from my single or married friends without kids) - "how do you do it all?" It's simple, really.
I accept that I can do most. I can do most things, not all things. I can prepare treats for school, make lunches, send cards, check in on a student, fold loads of laundry and toss in the next load - all before 6am. Yes, that's right, the only way I get most things done is to wake up at the crack of dawn and just start working. I'm not at all touting that this method is a good one, but things have to get done. You have to make the most of your days. Our day, my day starts M-F at 5am. I get out of bed, wash my face and wet my hair (showering at night saves me on time), get ready for work and hit the kitchen by 5:30. At 5:30 I whip together breakfast and lunch and head to my home office and work on my classes and other things till 6am. At 6, I wake up A, get her ready for school and we are out the door, I kid you not at 6:20am. Mind you at this point, I have likely screamed at someone once, dropped a curse word and started to sweat with frustration. Yes this is all a far cry from my dreams of baked goods cooling on my countertops.
We work all day, rush to the train, head to the sitters by 5, whisk in the door at 5:10 and start dinner. On most nights by 6:15 A is in the tub and I am catching my breath. It's a whirlwind I tell you. Once A hits bed, I work on a class or two, write out some cards, fold some laundry, wipe down a bathroom, or do whatever needs to be done. The trick really is to stay on top of things. If I miss a beat, the deck of cards tumbles. Train delays make me cry, a failed dinner sends me in to a panic, and sickness cripples me.
I am an over programmed overachiever with a menu of dinners scheduled 30 days in advance, volunteer time is scheduled on my google calendar and every stinking thing we do is based around the attempt to live a Stepford-like life. I know we'll never get there, and that's okay...but damn it, I am going to try.
While this may seem to some as chaotic or crazy, or a foolish waste of my time. Believe it or not, I am a good friend, a good wife, a good employee, a contributing member of society because I like it this way. I love the schedule, the structure, the breakdowns and all. I don't rest well, believe me, if I am slowing down, it is only because I am preparing for the next marathon of life.
Patience is indeed a virtue
...that I do not possess. I suck at being patient. I suck at being a patient wife, customer, employee, employer - you name it, I suck at it. I don't really know why this is, and really, I don't care...except when it comes to being an impatient parent.
Outside of the random moments when we all lose it - I am a terribly impatient mother. Example, I make and serve dinner to my family, we eat together at the dinner table (side note: as all families should). My daughter takes 100,000 times longer to eat than any other human on the planet. On most nights it starts off well, we all dine together, chatting, singing little songs, talking about the food and then time is up. I am done, John is done and A...is still nibbling...and nibbling and so on. This causes quite a dilemma for my over-scheduled brain. Sit and stare or get up and start cleaning up the stove?
I have realized that in a few short years, she will rush through dinner, text message a friend and slam her bedroom door. Savour these nibbling moments, I tell myself, soon you'll beg for them.
Outside of the random moments when we all lose it - I am a terribly impatient mother. Example, I make and serve dinner to my family, we eat together at the dinner table (side note: as all families should). My daughter takes 100,000 times longer to eat than any other human on the planet. On most nights it starts off well, we all dine together, chatting, singing little songs, talking about the food and then time is up. I am done, John is done and A...is still nibbling...and nibbling and so on. This causes quite a dilemma for my over-scheduled brain. Sit and stare or get up and start cleaning up the stove?
I have realized that in a few short years, she will rush through dinner, text message a friend and slam her bedroom door. Savour these nibbling moments, I tell myself, soon you'll beg for them.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Sometimes Life Does Suck
Over the past few months close friends and not-so-close friends and others have dealt with a variety of tragic and challenging circumstances. I won't share details past that, but man, it does make you say "life does suck sometimes." Sad but true, sometimes the challenges of others make us grateful for the small things that make our lives so very simple.
The strength of others, and of ourselves is something that few of us recognize. On this Valentine's Day, I am proud to say that I love my life and everyone in it - large or small, significant or not, near or far, simple or complex - I love it all.
The strength of others, and of ourselves is something that few of us recognize. On this Valentine's Day, I am proud to say that I love my life and everyone in it - large or small, significant or not, near or far, simple or complex - I love it all.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Welcome to social media hoarding
Several years ago I took the time to blog and participate in the livejournal community. I found it extremely rewarding but then I'll be honest, Facebook took over my life. I love it, I really, really love it. It's on my computer at home, on my laptop, at work, on my phone and now I can even stream Facebook to my TV. This is NUTS.
All that said, I love keeping up with people, their happenings (good and bad) and seeing pictures of peoples' lives. Granted, FB has it' has share of drama, but whatever.
Speaking of TVs - yesterday John purchased a 45 inch, LED, HDTV for our family room. Say good bye to the 55 inch beast that ate up half of our family room for the last 10 years. John has wanted this TV for a long time, every time he turned the TV on you could tell he was saying a "please be dead," prayer. On a whim (and at the granting of a little contract gig) I set him loose with a budget for a new TV. It made me wonder, how do other couples manage cash, gifts, large purchases and such. John and I have a $100 and over discussion, when it comes to things outside of household goods. It sounds small in this day and age, but when I need or want to buy things, I usually just say "I am in need of new jeans and such, I am planning to spend $X." And there it goes. How do others handle this? I know some couples that have $500 threshold and others that have a joint account and a (each) couples account. Whatever works for you I say.
So in this day and age, I'm adding to my social media hoarding-like tendencies and hosting a blog. I'm not sure what to talk about, I'm not sure how often I will say it, or even whom I will share it with. But here it is.
Maybe this blog is one and done, or not.
All that said, I love keeping up with people, their happenings (good and bad) and seeing pictures of peoples' lives. Granted, FB has it' has share of drama, but whatever.
Speaking of TVs - yesterday John purchased a 45 inch, LED, HDTV for our family room. Say good bye to the 55 inch beast that ate up half of our family room for the last 10 years. John has wanted this TV for a long time, every time he turned the TV on you could tell he was saying a "please be dead," prayer. On a whim (and at the granting of a little contract gig) I set him loose with a budget for a new TV. It made me wonder, how do other couples manage cash, gifts, large purchases and such. John and I have a $100 and over discussion, when it comes to things outside of household goods. It sounds small in this day and age, but when I need or want to buy things, I usually just say "I am in need of new jeans and such, I am planning to spend $X." And there it goes. How do others handle this? I know some couples that have $500 threshold and others that have a joint account and a (each) couples account. Whatever works for you I say.
So in this day and age, I'm adding to my social media hoarding-like tendencies and hosting a blog. I'm not sure what to talk about, I'm not sure how often I will say it, or even whom I will share it with. But here it is.
Maybe this blog is one and done, or not.
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